


i’ll find my way home (to you, always)

by adoregyu



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, tw: panic attack!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28015464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoregyu/pseuds/adoregyu
Summary: Jake has to deal with the aftermath of getting mobbed by fans at the airport. Thankfully, Sunghoon is there to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Park Sunghoon & Shim Jaeyoon | Jake, Park Sunghoon/Shim Jaeyoon | Jake
Comments: 14
Kudos: 176





	i’ll find my way home (to you, always)

These days still feel like a dream to Jake. They’ve finally debuted, released their MV, and they’re now doing schedules and performing on music shows. Truth be told, he thinks it might be the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He managed to fulfill his own dream, after all, and the satisfaction that comes with it is surely worth all the hardships and trouble he’d gone through. It’s tiring, he’s not gonna lie, but he’s one of the people who gets to do what they love to do for a living, and he considers himself lucky.

Back then, he had always wondered what it felt like, to be an idol. His transformation from a fanboy to someone who has fangirls and fanboys is still a bit new to him, and though he feels like he’s getting the hang of it, there are always surprises waiting around the corner. 

The surprises are mostly pleasant, like privileges or facilities. But this one, Jake thinks. It’s not actually a surprise to him, since he knows the price he has to pay to be an idol, but his naive self thought it wouldn’t be that bad.

Today, he’s found his worst nightmare.

He remembers every excruciating second of it. Countless foreign hands desperately grabbing at him, yanking his hoodie. The shouts were making his head spin, his legs felt like jellies as he forced himself to keep it together and to not breakdown right then and there. Jay’s arm was around him at some point, pulling him closer, shielding him from the harassment, though he was also tasting the same poison. 

A hand pulled at his arm. The flash almost blinded him. Someone yelled right beside his ear and the bile in his stomach rose. Panic jumped to his throat as he felt a hard push and his legs instantly gave out. He was going to get trampled, he was going to—

Jake sits up abruptly in his bed, his breath quick and heartbeat erratic. He doesn’t know why he’s sitting on his bed, but it’s almost like his body went on autopilot mode where he’s an external entity, completely separated from his vessel. Climbing down his bed, the sandpaper-like dryness of his mouth steers him to the kitchen.

Not even bothering to turn on the lights, Jake goes to the cupboard to get a glass of water. His head is buzzing with countless thoughts, but he tries to distract himself with his current task: drink a glass of water. He then opens the fridge to get the water jug and fills his glass with the ice cold water.

Instead of drinking the water, he gets lost in his thought again. Hands. There were too many hands. He could almost feel them right now, burning through his clothes. Someone was crying, but he couldn’t figure out who it was, the voices were all mixed up in his head, turning into a single monster. But there was someone else. Someone touched him. Where? Everywhere. He could feel it. Right now, in their kitchen. 

The glass slips out of his hold and Jake hears it shatters into tiny little pieces.

He looks down and sees his hand trembling, but the fact that he can’t feel them is what tips him over the edge. 

“-ke? Jake?” The voice snaps him out of his daze, and he tips his head up to meet a pair of worried eyes. “What happened?” 

There Sunghoon stands, his hair sticking out in various places and his face is marred with concern. The kitchen is awfully bright now, and he doesn’t know when—doesn’t even realize that— the lights turned on. Seeing that Jake is unresponsive, the Noiret tries again. This time, his voice is gentle and there’s no sign of panic as he asks, “Jake? Can you hear me?”

“I can’t,” Jake has to forcefully choke out the words, his vision now blurry with unshed tears. “I can’t feel my hands.”

Something breaks a little in Sunghoon’s chest as he carefully steps closer, making sure he’s not gonna step on the broken glasses. When he’s close enough he puts his hands on Jake’s frame, nudging him away from the broke glasses with utmost care. Once he thinks they’re in the area where there’s no risk of stepping into shards of glass, Sunghoon takes Jake’s hand in his and inwardly winces to when his fingers come into contact with Jake’s icy ones. 

“Can you breathe with me?” He asks again, bending his figure a little to look at Jake in the eyes. “Will you try?”

Jake nods. The fear is still gripping him, wrapping its claws around his chest and squeezing, but Sunghoon’s there with him. He’s not alone. “Yes,” he replies, voice small and brittle. 

“Alright, that’s good. We’re gonna breathe in slowly through our noses and exhale through our mouths. Ready? On the count of three. One, two, three, breathe in.” Sunghoon’s voice cuts through the fog like a beam of bright light, and Jake inhales slowly, resisting the urge to gulp down air like fish out of water. “And out. One more time?” 

Again, Jake can only nod. 

“Good boy. We’ll do it nice and slow. You got this,” Sunghoon smiles at him like he just gave him a star, his encouragement spreading warmth all over his body. “In through our nose.” He waits for a couple of seconds before continuing, “and out. There you go. Think you can do it a few more times?”

They do that for awhile, Sunghoon guiding him to breathe while holding his hands. Gradually, the feeling in Jake’s hands returns and he can feel Sunghoon squeezing them lightly each time they inhale. Jake takes a particularly big breath in and exhales shakily, blinking his tears away. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Jake answers. Though his voice is still small, it sounds more stable. “Yeah. Okay. I’m okay.”

Sunghoon lets go of his hand to cup his cheek, his thumb wiping away the trail of tears. “You’re gonna be okay,” he whispers, fondness lacing his every word. “I’m here for you.”

He leans into his touch, closing his eyes when he feels Sunghoon closing in to rest his forehead aginst his. He’s not completely out of the woods yet, but he has Sunghoon by his side, and that is more than enough. “Thank you,” Jake replies. He wants to say so much more, but decides it’s sufficient for now. 

The taller hums, his breath ghosting Jake’s face. “Sleep with me tonight?” He offers, and Jake is very thankful for the fact that Sunghoon didn’t ask him questions. He doesn’t know how he’s gonna explain what just happened, and he loathes it if he has to recall that terrifying event.

“Yes, please,” he says. Jake is crestfallen when Sunghoon pulls away, but then a soft kiss on his forehead chases off the disappointment. 

“Wait here,” Sunghoon orders with a heft of authority. Jake opens his eyes to see Sunghoon getting tissues and then bending down to collect the scattered shards. He moves to help him, but Sunghoon adds, “Please, Jake. It’s okay, I got this. Just wait a bit, alright?” He sends him a reassuring smile, and Jake remains where he stands.

After cleaning up the broken glass, Sunghoon turns off the lights and takes Jake’s hand, guiding him into their shared bedroom. He climbs into Sunghoon’s bed first, his body feels heavy and all he wants to do right now is to fall into a dreamless slumber. Sunghoon follows him suit, throwing the blanket across their body and pulling Jake closer to him before wrapping his arm around Jake’s middle. 

Burying himself in Sunghoon’s nape, Jake notices something. Lying on Sunghoon’s bed with Sunghoon’s arm around him feels like home, and most importantly, Jake feels safe. “Sunghoon,” he mumbles against Sunghoon’s neck.

“Mm?”

“Thank you for being my safe haven,” Jake says. The arm around him tightens, pulling him impossibly closer.

“Wouldn’t wanna be anything else in the world,” Sunghoon replies, and Jake falls in love a bit more.

That night, instead of a dreamless sleep, he dreams of a certain tall boy with pale skin and a mole on his nose bridge who stands by his side when he’s facing a pack of wolves.


End file.
